Seclusion
by Yeshiva Guy
Isolated. Insular. Intolerant.
The chareidi and yeshivish community is often been described as such. It may very well be that we are those things. After all, the average bochur in a mainstream yeshiva doesn’t know what the most recent behala on the blogosphere is. The average Bais Yaakov girl doesn’t know what the latest in haute couture is. Certainly, the regular yingelech in cheder are blissfully unaware of the madness prevalent on the crisscrossing byways and highways that speed secular youth toward a life of, well, emptiness.
We are insulated.
Beautifully so, I think. Have you ever taken a walk in peaceful Meah Shearim on a Friday night? Watched the boys and girls of eight or nine play in the streets? The poetic innocence on the faces of the Yerushalmi kids twinkles in the twilit alleyways. Freshly scrubbed and bathed, they play with joyful, carefree abandon. Abandoning the yokes of a society gone insane on them, they are, in a word, children. When was the last time you met up with a nine year old who was only nine years old? We say, “oh, what a smart child you are”, chap a knip, and move on, subconsciously silencing the screams of our own childhood… itself so much more innocent. Children are meant to be children, not adults. In frightening irony, however, adults behave childishly and attempt to shortcut their children’s most vital experience- their youth. They nuke their progenies’ time growing up, and nuclear is nothing short of the result.
So as secular society stumbles forward in its mad rush towards moral oblivion, know that the seclusion of our community is good, and true, to our roots. It is Torah. Results, too, are on the side of the system. Just take a look at the thriving Torah communities built by men and women educated in the very same institutions that they now lead. Yes, the system is solid.
There is, sadly, a school of thought that has attracted some misguided students in recent years and attained a disproportionate voice in various online venues. I do not believe that the prattle of these pedagogues characterizes the majority Orthodox Jewry. Only that any voice, maintained in a forum lacking any opposite vocalization, and pedantic enough, will by default earn the following of what few students remain in the room.
These cynical Cassandras and doubting Thomases attempt to attack our insularness of the last thousand years or so with a few pithy lines of embarrassed, and embarrassing rhetoric. Always, it has been thus. Always, the naysayers have felt the need to fight organized Yiddishkeit. Dating back to Genesis itself, the scorner’s ban has been hurled by the cynics of every generation and geographic grade. Bans as old and foolish as when they were first sent on their way, to mock a righteous Avraham Avinu, the hurler’s never see fit to update their content or even originality.
And it is wrong. Allow me to demonstrate.
[Side note:
The propagators of said rhetoric are more often than not products of a society that has not worked for them. They are the result of an awesome factory like system designed by great men that may have wronged them- like every factory in the world, defective products are occasionally turned out. I wish, truly, that these men and ladies could find it in their hearts to forgive a system that did not intentionally do them harm. And to understand that the defects in the systems' machinery are a result not of specific intent, but rather of an attempt to cater to the masses, to the median. Should a system with fewer tolerances for defects be put into place? Perhaps. But that is neither the purpose nor within the purview of this post.]
According to the argument, enveloping oneself in a community like the chareidi or yeshiva world’s current island-like approach leads to one thing- ignorance of the outside world. Nothing could be worse, or more embarrassing, according to them, than the yeshiva students who cannot intelligently discuss the latest developments in whatever reality TV show currently holds sway on America’s upper middle class. For shame, they cry! How dare we educate our children to avoid pop culture like the plague and focus on the most valuable of all pursuits?! Instead, they propose, expose them to the barrage of instantly available, vitally important news served up in real time on the news outlets. Have them assimilate constant reports of the violence and gore of the street.
But why? Why expose our innocent, protected youth to this? I can hear the sane voices questioning. But the voice answering from the darkness have an answer for this too.
Because one day they will be, must be, exposed to it themselves. What will happen when these children must grow up and face the world? They won’t know how to deal with it! They won’t be able to handle the ghastliness and gore of the outside world. So expose them to it early on. That’s the argument in a nutshell. And nuts it is. Here’s why.
Exposing our precious, our most precious, commodity early on to a world gone mad is patently ludicrous. It’s worse than that, actually; it is dangerous. An inaccurate analogy might be the swimming instructor who wishes to teach his charge how to swim. Wishing to do so in a no nonsense fashion and being a pragmatic instructor, he lifts his struggling pupil and bodily throws him into the raging river. In short order, the three year old boy drowns. “Swim, swim”, cries the teacher from the riverbank. To no avail. The child simply can’t deal with the overpowering, swirling waters of the river. Flailing wildly all the while, the child slowly slips under.
Taking our youth and wishing to equip them to deal with the mad milieu swirling round them can have devastating effects. To those who argue we will eventually need to do it anyway… I say this to them. For the same reason you do not choose to equip your ten year old with a .45 to defend himself using the logic of “one day he will need to know how to defend himself anyway”, we do not equip our young with potentially fatal tools.
And finally, we are intolerant.
We are intolerant of any threats on our young. Just as the herd gathers together to ensure the survival of its young by not exposing any of the kids, we too gather in on ourselves to protect our children. And we do not tolerate any charges of the unfaithful on our charges. We are intolerant of insurgents on our isolation.
So we must stay secluded. In our perfect little worlds. But you’re welcome to join us any time.
I like the post. The only thing I’m not sure about is if there are (in America) communities that actually are insulated. Sure, we can control, for the most part, what kids are exposed to at home, but when they leave the house, even just to go to school, there’s such easy access to everything out there.
Dear Yeshiva Guy:
I would wish to reply to your post concerning the purported provincalism of the Yeshiva community.
Albeit I would characterize myself as right leaning in observance and hashkafa, I embrace the idea propounded by Rabbi Hirsch zatzal that one may explore and assimilate the finest that the non-Jewish world has to offer. As the Baal Shem Tov observed, everything that one experiences and observes can facilitate Avodas HaShem. I can experience HaShem in a midrash, a sunrise and the Eine Kleine Nachtmusik. The difficulty arises when one fails to discriminate. One must be judicious. Certain pursuits clearly are incompatiable with halacha and Torah values. This realization required some time for me to make. As a ger, I had to wean myself from pasttimes that I immensely enjoyed for years, such as attending movies and viewing television. However, I feel my appreciation of Yiiddishkeit has been greatly augmented.
Another aspect of the criticized isolationism of the charedi community is the supposed inability to interact with people of disparate backgrounds… I can repudiate this stereotype on the basis of personal experience. I was born of American Negro parents and reared as a Baptist in an inner city working class neighborhood. I underwent a Conservative conversion in college and subsequently repeated the process under the superintendence of a Chabad rabbi. The culture from which I originated was the antithesis of the charedi world. However, I never experienced such warmth and acceptance. Whether Shabbos or Yom tov invitations, invitations to simchas or expressions of sympathy and support during difficult times, such as the death of my parents, my charedi friends were always available to me. Admittedly, I’ve encountered some racial animus, but such experiences are the exception, not the norm. It is among the non-Orthodox that I’ve encountered the most bigotry. Never in an Orthodox shul that I visited did a member assume that I was janitor.
I wish I had been protected from the pernicious influences of the ghetto as Charedi parents and teachers valiantly try to shield their charges from the invidious impact of certain aspects of secular culture. It was only the love and guidance of my parents that precluded me from proceeding down the path taken by so many of my friends Those who worry that charedi young people will not be able to cope with the vagaries of the modern world need have no concerns. The eternal verities of Torah will guide and sustain them..
>. Nothing could be worse, or more embarrassing, according to them, than the yeshiva students who cannot intelligently discuss the latest developments in whatever reality TV show currently holds sway on America’s upper middle class. For shame, they cry! How dare we educate our children to avoid pop culture like the plague and focus on the most valuable of all pursuits?! Instead, they propose, expose them to the barrage of instantly available, vitally important news served up in real time on the news outlets. Have them assimilate constant reports of the violence and gore of the street.
Reality TV or news? The sefa shows that you yourself know that you created a straw man in the resha.
As for the few factory defects, the yeshivishe velt follows the path which R. Elya Dessler writes: better 999 casualties in the drive to produce one Godol then 1000 ehrliche baal habatim and no Gedolim. It is planned this way. Don’t complain when the “factory defects” wake up and realize that they were ground up like meat to make a better hamburger, and spilled off from the pan like used grease. They, too, were innocent children.
YG: Great post!
Guest: Where is Rav Dessler quoted as having said this?
R’ Dov Kramer – YG: Great post!
Would you be upset or embarrassed if your children end up choosing the same profession (and/or career path) as you did? Could they possibly do it if not exposed to media (i.e. “insulated”) as they grow up?
Eh? He isn’t quoted as having said this. He says it himself in Mikhtav Meliyahu volume 3 pp. 355-57.
If you don’t have a copy handy, I found a partial translation here.
You know, I agree with your post. To a degree. I just find it frustrating that you so often tend to take things to an extreme. It’s not fair, or right to depict yourself as being in the right if you aren’t going to present the other side accuarately.
I do believe that people indulge in frivolity, and then take offense when bochurim do. But do you really think that people want bochurim to know about the latest reality TV show? I don’t. I do think that people would like bochurim to know what was going on in the news, though. First of all, it’s important for them to know–they do live in the world, after all, and it would be nice to be able to have an intelligent discussion about elections with them. It’s a bit irritating to get the “Vote Republican!” attitude when they don’t even know what a Republican is.
You can say all of this, but the reason those poor bachurim are in japan is because they were too insulated.
He isnt saying that bachurim shouldnt be told about drugs, he is saying that they shouldnt know about reality tv. its the difference between american culture and american news.
“The average Bais Yaakov girl doesn’t know what the latest in haute couture is”
The average yeshiva bochur/bais yaakov girl doesnt even know WHAT haute couture is.
Where do you see these words???
Yeshiva Guy, the analogies you gave to support your thesis kind of illuminate how much you’re missing the point.
I think you should read this article by Rabbi Dr. Aharon Fried, “Are our children too worldly?”
http://www.hakirah.org/Vol%204%20Fried.pdf
To the contrary. When a child is insulated his whole life and then let loose upon graduating The System, he is thrown into a stream. When he is exposed to carefully selected bits of culture (news, acceptable music, hobbies) he is being taught how to swim – how to select the acceptable from the unacceptable, and how to be moral in an immoral world.
At the same time, I agree that this exposure needs to be moderated. Children can’t always know right from wrong, so parents need to explain.
As for your attack on those who feel betrayed by the system: that’s me. I forgive it, sort of. I don’t rant against it. But I am still hurt by the experience of being told, repeatedly, through my teenage years that there was something fundamentally wrong with me simply because I didn’t understand the frivolous and superficial rules and regulations of ultra-orthodox society. There are certain high school experiences that still make me cry when I recall them.
I don’t think it would have hurt the rest of the class much if the teachers had accommodated those of us with a more questioning approach to life.
Not to nitpick, but the word is insularity, not insularness.