Life of Yeshiva Guy

“For my part, I travel not to go anywhere, but to go. I travel for travel’s sake. The great affair is to move.”

-Robert Louis Stevenson

It’s a weekday evening, but I’m bound for Tel Aviv on a sherut- a shared taxi. Sheruts are larger van style affairs with a boxy exterior and roomy interior. Kind of like an airplane, only everyone is seated in much closer quarters to each other. The reason I’m headed to sin city on stam a night is simple; the zman hasn’t begun yet. I’m maximizing my Bein Hazmanim time, albeit in Eretz Yisroel. No, nothing nefarious is taking place. My activity is totally innocuous, although totally unproductive. Then again, that’s what Bein Hazmanim is for, right?

Squished into the back left corner, I can feel the ache begin. I’m up close against the window. The passing scenery, although pretty at times, has nothing to do with it. Part of the sherut experience is a first come first serve policy when it comes to the seating arrangements. There is no travel agent to call, no help desk to ring. You sit where there is an available seat. As it happens, this was the last seat left. And it is next to a female. Gritting my teeth and plugging myself into mindless muzak, I settle in for the hour plus ride to TA’s tachanah hamerkazit- the central bus station.

Fifteen minutes go by, and an interesting dynamic penetrates the strains of Gershovsky and my strained mind. I realize that the entire back row- a family of African Americans- is paying avid attention to the swarthy fellow with the beak nose sitting directly in front of me. Hmm. This could be interesting. I discreetly (I could be a Mossad agent, seriously) hit the pause button on my iPod, and listen in.

Turns out that the guy in front of me is a tour guide. Apparently, he prides himself on knowing every nook and cranny of the old city. He’s also in the midst of pitching them the services of the second best tour guide in Israel for the forthcoming day- a close friend of his, as luck has it. He, sadly, won’t be available; his nephew is getting married, and all the shekalim in the world couldn’t persuade him to miss it. I suspect otherwise, but keep my mouth shut.

At this point, it is salient to interject the following point. I’m wearing my hat and jacket, and I have not yet communicated with anyone, including the nahag, in anything except Ivrit. Not knowing how this might play out, I stick to Ivrit when the guide twists around and asks me to pass up the payment for the ride.

As our journey continues, the guide begins to wax scholarly about the distinguishing characteristics of the various branch Semitic languages. He also explains that Arabic and Hebrew, for the above reason, are close cousins, and words are often very similar. To demonstrate, he invokes the tired example of Shalom Aleichem and Saaalam al Aqum. The family is sitting and nodding like a bunch of amazed university students. He has them in palm of his hand. I imagine he’s looking forward to something else a little extra making his way into his hand at the end of the day, but again, I keep quiet.

But as he continues droning on about boring language distinctions, I decide it’s about time to stir things up a little.

Addressing the guide in Ivrit, I politely note that I couldn’t help but overhearing his little monologue, and while I couldn’t catch all of it (may HKB”H forgive me for that one), it sounded like he had been discussing the term Shalom Aleichem. Yes, he wags his head eagerly, he had been speaking about it. Well, I ask him, was he familiar with the reason Orthodox Jews use the term Shalom Aleichem? No, he answers, shaking his head in dismay. Seriously, the guy should have been on Broadway. In that case, says I, would he like to hear it? Definitely.

Taking my time, I slowly explain to him the shtickel. That one of G-d’s names is “Shalom”, and that we are actually saying “G-d be with you”. Or in the common vernacular, “Go with G-d”. The hemshich of the vort (why the other fellow answers the reverse) I decide I’ll leave for another time. As it is, I’m worried I’ve given myself away for the Tapuach I am already. But at vort’s end, he appears content, and thanking me in Ivrit, he rotates himsef back to face the family.

Switching to English now, he repeats what I just said, word for word. I’m impressed with his near perfect recall. After finishing, he casts a sidelong glance in my direction, and he tacks on that this vort was, in fact one he knew, of course, but that this gentleman sitting here (me) kindly reminded him of it.

What?! Ah chutzpah.

Keeping quiet, I bide my time.

Just as we are all exiting the vehicle, I cheerily wish the guide and his charges an enjoyable trip, in the best Southern-Midwestern accent I can muster.

Our poor guide snaps his head around in my direction and yes, yes, his face turns ashen.

The family erupts in hearty chuckles; they chap the matzav.

Don’t mess with Yeshiva Guys.

Taken in the GR”A shul in Rechavia. Original on Flickr feed.

Shtark -This is a classic wannabe yeshivish error. Yeshivishe chevra never, ever, use the word shtark in reference to a bochur’s frumkeit. In other words, true shtarker yeshivish guys never use the word shtark in this connotation.
(What should be used: Top Guy, Masmid, Greaser)

Frummie - Same as above. I’ve never heard a frummie say frummie.
(What should be used: Yeshivish, Frum, Greased, Chanyuk).

Pashut Pshat – Another frequent loshon often misused by wannabe yeshivaleit. Even in the course of learning, this one rarely crops up. Stay away from it.
(What should be used: Pashtus)

Rav - (with a long “A”) – This is only used in reference to one person, and almost always only derogatorily. It is not used to refer to a Rebbe, Rov, or respected yungerman.
(What should be used: Rebbe, Rov)

Maidel – While the topic is generally avoided b’chlall, if push comes to shove, other euphemisms are employed. Not maidel. I blame the Blogovelt for this one.
(What should be used: Osoh Davar, It, Them, etc. SG’s, of course, are entitled to far more caustic adjectives. V’hamayvin Yavin).

Follow these hard and fast rules, and you’ll find yourself on the road to stardom faster than you can say pashut pshat, shtarker guy.

Ad astra per aspera. Good luck.

(Via Chabad.info, Via Shtetl Vision )

Note:
Obviously, I do not agree with the particular limudim that this bochur was learning; however, we must all take note of this schedule. See what a young man can accomplish.

The best way to get a glimpse into the high neshamah of Nosson Deitsch, 21, who was tragically taken in an accident on Lag Ba’Omer in Tampa, Florida (where he had gone to help a Chabad Shliach with his Lag Ba’Omer event), is to look at his daily schedule.

7 a.m.: mikvah.
7:30: mark down who came to Chassidus on time (he was themashgiach).
7:30 – 9:00: listen to Hagaon Harav Yoel Kahn’s taped shiurimon Shaar Hayichud v’Ha-emunah (chelek of Tanya containing deepest concepts of Chassidus).
9:00 – 9:30: review Likutei Amarim Tanya which he knew by heart, all 53 chapters. He knew them perfectly, word for word, letter for letter, with all the haga’osand tikunim.
9:30: daven Shacharis, every word said loudly and clearly, followed by Tehillim
10:30 – eat breakfast in 10 minutes
10:45 – 2:00 p.m. – learn b’chavrusa Hilchos Issur v’Heter, with Gemara, (with plan to eventually seek semichah), every word said out loud, with full concentration.
2:00 – 3:45 minchah and lunch. Nosson would eat quickly and then use his lunch time to call his mother (his father, Reb Zalman Yuda, z”l, passed away three years ago); eleven siblings; uncles; aunts; friends; cousins; and anyone who might need to speak with him. Nosson would use the remainder of his lunch break to learn three perakim of Yad HaChazakah by the Rambam, a takanah instituted by the Rebbe, in 1984/5744. He also fit in his daily shiur of Chumash and Tanya now.
3:45 – 7:00: back to Issur v’Heter.
7:00: He would eat supper within 10 minutes. Ever since his little cousin, Alta Shula Swerdlov, a”h,was killed in a tragic bus accident in Jerusalem eight months ago, Nosson would learn (during supper break) for 20 minutes the ma’amarim of the Frierdiker Lubavitcher Rebbe, the Rebbe Rayatz, zt”l, in zchus of his young cousin.
7:30 – 8:00: Nosson would learn Shulchan Aruch Harav with a baal teshuvah who is relatively new to the daily practice of mitzvos
8:00 – 9:30: Nosson would choose five of the younger bachurim with whom to learn the Rebbe Rashab’s ma’amarim.
9:30: Maariv. Afterwards, Nosson would learn a sichah of the Rebbe.
10:30: Despite being a very sociable person who enjoyed time with friends, and who enjoyed playing an occasional basketball game, Nosson tried to be asleep by 11:30 at the latest, in order to be able to learn in top form the next day.

Nosson was the youngest of twelve children of the chossid and baal tzedakah, Reb Zalman Yuda,z”l, and tbl”ch Mrs. Cyrel (nee Edelman) Deitsch. Mrs. Deitsch is the daughter of respected Chabad Shluchim to Springfield, Mass., Rabbi Dovid and Rebbetzin Leah Edelman, who were sent there by the Frierdiker Rebbe in 1949.

Nosson was named after Rebbetzin Leah Edelman’s uncle, Harav Nosson Nota Zuber, z”l, who was a tomim and learned in Lubavitch (both the city and the yeshivah), and was boki b’Shaas.

Nosson Deitsch, too, was well known for being an outstanding masmid and a “top bachur.”

Like his father before him, Nosson would reward younger bachurim as well as his many nephews,kein yirbu, for learning Tanya b’al peh. He got them excited about learning Tanya, and he knew that mitoch shelo lishma ba lishma.

Like his father before him, Nosson was a Lubavitcher chossid with his entire heart, soul, and all hiskochos. Every Sunday he would write a letter to the Rebbe and fax it to the Ohel, where it would be torn up by a secretary and left at the grave. What he wrote in those letters is not known.

During a free Shabbos or bein hazemanim, Nosson would help Chabad shluchim. He traveled all over, wherever there was a need, leading programs, learning and putting on Tefillin with Yidden, and adding tochen and freilichkeit to Chabad events.

He made a tremendous impact on the people he met. As one Jew told the shliach after Nosson left, “Can we get that student rabbi here more often? I love hearing his speeches. He is so sincere, and so lovable, I just want to do whatever he encourages.”

Nosson utilized his famous sense of humor and outstanding lebedikeit to further his Chabad work. For example, this past Chanukah, he helped organize a public menorah-lighting, and it began raining. Instead of sticking with the program (speeches), Nosson told the musicians to crank it up, grabbed some men, and began dancing. Everyone was surprised but joined in, perhaps thinking that dancing in the rain on Chanukah was another Chassidic custom.

Frequently, when the bachurim were on their way to an event, Nosson would spot a mall or office building and say, “Wait! Let’s go in there and find some Jews who need to put on Tefillin!” The bachurim would quickly fan out and cover the building, put on Tefillin with some Yidden (some for the first time ever), and then rush back to the vehicle to get to their destination.

The last thing Nosson learned was the part of Shaar Hayichud v’Ha-emunah that says we cannot understand Hashem’s ways.

Nosson leaves behind his shocked and heartbroken mother, grandparents, siblings, and extended family; the hundreds who have come closer to Hashem because of him; his many loyal friends; and the bachurim and staff at the Yeshivah Gedolah of Miami Beach (founded by the Lubavitcher Rebbe in 1974 and headed by Rosh Yeshivah Hagaon Harav Leib Schapiro).

He was paid for his work as mashgiach at the yeshivah, but every month he would keep just the little he needed to live, and give the rest to his siblings who are on Shlichus in Toronto, Canada; Montgomery County, Pennsylvania; Chandler, Arizona; Tyson’s Corner, Virginia; S. Rosa, California; and Boulder, Colorado.

Family is sitting shivah at 518 Crown Street, in Crown Heights, Brooklyn, until Shabbos.

This is a real life class list of names from a kindergarden in the Golan.

Aviva
Ayelet HaShachar
Emunah Rochel
Uri
Boaz
Gad Chaim
Hadar
Hodaya
Michal
Ma’ayan
Nevei
Noam Yehuda
Na’ami
Amichai
Raius
Rayeh
Sarah
Shachar
Tehillah
Tohar
Talyah
Yarona
Yanun
Yascha
Ya’aleh

My favorite? Easy.

Ayelet HaShachar.

I wonder if the Bubby’s name was really Esther or something like that…