For so many things. Some of the specific things I have in mind at the moment are:

Starbucks – even the Coffee Bean on Yaffo doesn’t come close to the homey, heimishe mahogany svivah that Starbucks shtells. Not to mention the terrific coffee.

Aviator Rink – a local ice rink. For $8 I can skate out my heart, and feet, in an Olympic size rink. wOOt! In E”Y, btw, it’s closer to $10—per hour!!

Juice Drinks – Naked or Odwalla. These things are not shayich. They k’seder keep me going for an entire skating session. Placebo effect matzav? Perhaps. Still works.

Pomegranate – I’ve been told this is similar to a Whole Foods, minus the organic-only component. Regardless, it’s mamish a mechayah to shop here. Not to mention the cheeses. Oh the cheeses!

Cars – Massive, gargantuan, comfortable vehicles. At last, I can transport myself. In style. As opposed to cramping myself up in a minuscule Skoda.

Clothing – I need a new wardrobe. From socks and shoes to yarmulke and hat. Here, I can get one without A) breaking the bank, and B) emerging from the haberdashery dressed like some metamorphosed caterpillar cocooned in pink silk that threatens to pop off of me with the slightest motion.

English – My native tongue. What can I say, I prefer a country not running on a Zionist’s purposeful changeup of our Holy Language.

Donuts – Even Brooklyn Bakery doesn’t do it, like, say, the Donut Man.

Sushi – Yes, it exists there, but at 1AM? I think not.

Road Trips – Come on, what kind of a trip can you take in a country that only stretches 8 hours from tip to tip. you gotta get lost, man!