I can’t go out the door and step into the makolet anymore…I now need to take the car.

I use and drive a car. Not those tiny monits. Huh.

Restaurants serve normal steaks. Solo, Prime Grill and da boyz…they all feel like real restaurants to me. Not some transients, Mom and Pop type establishments established by Moms and Pops. Literally.

I feel (slightly) out of place in the local shul, being underdressed?. In Geulah, I feel (slightly) overdressed.

My cellular phone has consistent coverage. Awesome.

The grocery stores have…groceries. Weird.

Mommy and Totty suddenly feel it’s normal to call me three times a day asking me nothing at all, just to chekc where I am. Hello- Tel Aviv is just as bad as Manhattan, and I don’t hang out in either city. Whatcha worried about?

Learning (read: Torah) is much more…of a chalos here. Sorry, not in the mood of translating that one atm. Figure it out or ask me on Twitter later.

Getting asked ten times a day about when I’m going back, shidduchim, etc. Probably gonna dedicate a separate post to that. (BTW- spell check wants to change “shidduchim” to “Archimedes”. Really. Try it.)

Using planes again. It really is cool to take off into the air in 40 tons of steel. Miraculous, actually.

Seeing Muslims walking down Avenue J. It’s like living in a forest for five years, watching deer on a daily basis, and then seeing one stroll down 13th Avenue. Different.

…The Local Druggie burns his hovel up, and random bochurim pitch in to help him out.

…The waitress at the restaurant informs you in no uncertain terms that she’ll take her tip in cash, (omits please).

…A lady give $100,000 to HU. The lady was homeless.

…You’re impressed by your Egged-mates’ shtatty looking Oyster Perpetual watch…until upon closer inspection you realize it says “Rol(od)ex” on it, not Rolex.

…Cars and motorcycles arbitrarily disobey traffic laws…why not?

…A random, fatherly type dude on the train scolds you, loudly, for putting your feet up- in a mussardike way. (Happened to friend).

…There, the Blacks speak Hebrew. Here, the Hebrews speak Black> (Israelis love showing off their poor command of ebonics).

…Ten men gather together to daven in a minyan…and no two belong to the same sect/denomination.

…There, the cars are BIG. Here, the cars are smallll.

…The beggars wear tefillin.

…You walk into an innocent looking coffee house to get a Coke and use the internet, and the waiter tells you “It isn’t kosher here”.

…You go out on a shidduch, and have loads of fun. With the wrong girl.

…You’re bored at 2AM, but never fear…you can always go to the Kosel, and have a heart to heart with G-d.

…You can’t for the life of you figure out the parking lot’s pricing matrix…because it doesn’t make any sense.

…All around you, (chareidi) men are wearing tighter shirts than (chiloni) ladies.

…You can’t get over the fact that the three primary colors are not, in fact, BWB (Black, White,Black).

…People are rioting! Wait…why? No one is sure.

…Free hot cocoa; no, not in camp, but at the Kosel.