C.L.E.A.N. to M.O.M.
by Yeshiva Guy
Dear Valued Employers,
We, [C.L.E.A.N.] (Cleaning Ladies Everywhere Against Neurotia), wish to inform our employers [M.O.M.] (Mobs of Mothers) that we have unanimously voted in the following resolution, hereby inscribed by our secretary. “B. Crock(er)”; Resolution #RUMe$HuGGa4148. It follows.
“Due to the continued proliferation of the seasonal madness known around the world to we, the undersigned [C.L.E.A.N.], we have decided to appeal the sensibilities of the Chosen People’s leaders and sages in an effort to stop this madness once and for all. In addition to the obvious psychosis demonstrated with regards to the financial decision of hiring numerous honored members of our association and then summarily dismissing them to light labor while they attack electric sockets with glee (and toothpicks), they have also exhibited multiple signs of what can only be clinically classified as temporary dementia. These signs may be but are not limited to;
1 ) Screaming at young children for eating healthy, nutritious breakfasts (e.g. Wheaties) in the main dining area.
2) Recleaning the same spot of carpet with borderline OCD level attention.
3) Ordering the H.H.’s (Harried Husbands) to the grocery store for unending refills of Comet, Fantastic, Wonderful, Astroid, and others.
4) Peering into a small volume authored by some fellow named Bloom’s Camp Guide to Pesach for hours on end.
5) Disattaching light fixtures and dusting and washing them.
6) Prying off each individual key of the keyboard and washing the cap and Air-Offing the interior of said keyboard.
7) Washing ceilings.
Cleaning shoe soles.
We therefore respectfully request that the leaders of the Chosen People attempt with any and all powers at their disposal to treat this malady for once and for all. Before we go mad ourselves.
Yours,
C.L.E.A.N.
[...] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Yeshiva Guy, Yeshivishe Matzovim. Yeshivishe Matzovim said: Letter from C.L.E.A.N. to M.O.M. (L'kavod Pesach) (Warning, My Blog Link!) http://bit.ly/czKNZx [...]
Clean souls are always much desired!
Chag Kasher Vesameach to klal yisrael.
Maskim!
Was flip-flopping on using that line as I wrote it, but decided it would be a soleless thing to do, aside from clogging up the post. So I put my foot down, toed the line of corniness, and gave it the boot.
Very cute!